This one’s for you, Paralegal Mom! Ever since I was a little girl, I remember having a mind of my own. I was a leader, an outspoken smart mouth with a vigilante-style, ‘protect the underdog’ attitude. I wanted to be perfect at everything I did.
I loved school all through twelfth grade. I remember wanting to be very successful. And then I found out I was pregnant at eighteen, right after I received my college acceptance letter. I knew I was going to have to make sacrifices, but what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was going to reap the sweetest of rewards. Shortly after Spring semester, I welcomed a beautiful baby girl. I spent the next few years earning my degrees and paralegal certificate and getting married and having a few more babies.
To meet the requirements for my bachelor’s degree, I had to complete an internship at a law firm. Luckily, I was able to find one and I quickly became like a sponge absorbing the inner workings of how a law firm operates. It opened the door to a hallway of opportunities and my paralegal career began.
I went on to be hired by a prestigious local law firm where I grew in my experience and knowledge and learned the craft of being a paralegal from the best. The attorney I worked for, and his paralegal, took me under their wings and exposed me to the wonderful world of Plaintiff’s work.
It never gets old seeing the expression on someone’s face when I tell them I have five children. And although now my role as a paralegal is much more relaxed than it used to be, it’s always the same response, “I don’t know how you do it!”. Well, in this blog I’m going to share some helpful tips with you on how to do it, with a little bit of mama bear advice.
Time Management as a Paralegal Mom
They say you see time through your children. There is no truer statement. Between school and work, the years just seemed to slip right through my fingers. I watched my children and my case list grow year after year, and when COVID forced us indoors, the work/home life balance tipped drastically.
I’m so much more mindful of my time now both as a mom and as a paralegal. Listen, I know that occasionally you have to bring work home, but you can’t get into the habit of working from home after work. When I had several cases in litigation, I was detached at home most days and I had to make a change.
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When I’m in ‘mom mode’ and at home, I’m spending my time focused on just that – my family and my home. I stopped spending my time at home, worried about work. I removed the work e-mails from my phone, and don’t remote log in anymore.
When I’m at work, that is when I give 110% of my time and attention to the things that need to get done. I don’t think about what to make for dinner or whose turn it is next to go to the dentist. I save those kinds of internal discussions for the ride home, so it doesn’t interfere with my thoughts on what I need to get e-filed or what demand needs to get out the door.
Your habits form your behavior. You must take an active part in changing your habits, in order to see change. Keeping your time at home and your time at work separated is a boundary you have to get into the habit of enforcing when you’re a paralegal mom.
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Mistakes Happen
You’re going to mess up at some point as a mom and as a paralegal, and it’s best just to accept that early on. We have to let go of this illusion that everything must be perfect. We are perfect just as we are. All we have to do is our best – with the tools we’ve been given and what we’ve learned along the way – and that is enough.
We require the same grace and understanding that we so freely give to others in our personal and professional lives. I’m always making mistakes as a mom. It is so hard to be a parent nowadays with all the different things we have to worry about.
Things break, and stuff gets spilled, and you’ll lose your cool more often than you’d like. When we pause and reflect that we are only human, a beautiful thing happens – acceptance on all levels.
As a paralegal, I also have tons of things to worry about, and these emotions can disrupt a workday fast. I remember I made a mistake on a file once and then spent the rest of the day questioning my very own existence. I let my emotions override my ability to be reasonable.
I was stressing about what the attorney would think, worried about getting fired, and all of that angst and fear spilled over into my other files and reflected in my attitude. And then we came up with a solution, and just like that it was no longer the end of the world.
So, in those gut-wrenching moments when you’re pondering running away from all the bills and grocery store lists, or what constitutes legal malpractice, take a deep breath, and remember that you’re a rockstar mom and paralegal who can figure out anything!
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Sacrifice When You’re a Paralegal Mom
Being a paralegal mom, I’m all too familiar with sacrifices. I figured out that the key is to find a healthy balance. I quickly realized how detrimental making too many sacrifices at home for work was for my mental and physical health. It was years before I finally started using my paid time off.
The other day I had a doctor’s appointment, and I could have gone back to work for another hour or two but instead, I sat on a bench by the beach and enjoyed the warm sun on my skin until I had to pick my kids up. Self-care should not be a sacrifice.
I used to not take lunch breaks and would eat at my desk, and let me tell you, it’s not a sacrifice worth making. Take your break even if you don’t eat. You can stretch, walk around, or find an empty conference room and YouTube “office yoga”. There is a sacred power in enforcing which sacrifices you’re willing to make as a mom and as a paralegal, and you should use it daily.
The peace and joy being at home brings us does not need to be sacrificed for work. This does not go without saying that there is value in being a paralegal who is willing to make reasonable sacrifices for work. I’ve worked for attorneys who felt strongly that taking care of staff and making sure they were happy, ensured that business would be good.
When I felt appreciated, I was more inclined to help out without expecting something in return. And then I’ve worked for attorneys who could care less about the sacrifices I was willing to make, and it completely deterred me from going the extra mile. I hope you’re employed by a law firm that recognizes your extra mile, whether it’s staying a few minutes late to help a client or working on a time-sensitive project at home.
Because when you feel valued and appreciated, you will naturally want to do these things and they won’t feel so much like sacrifices.
Open Conversation About Being a Paralegal Mom
I’ve always been straightforward with my employers about my home life. I don’t overshare of course, but my boss is well aware of how my husband, and I handle things like picking up sick kids or school closings.
It’s important to have these conversations with your employer early on to set the expectation, but it’s not an easy conversation to have. The first time I couldn’t muster up the strength because I was afraid it would make me a less desirable employee.
Recently I started a new position at a law firm where I had to figure out how to have this tough conversation. First, I waited until after my interview, and then on my first day filling out paperwork, I had a heart to heart with the firm administrator about it. I was honest and raw. I was like here is what happens sometimes, this is how I handle it and I hope that’s okay.
It was a well-received approach; I think because I came to the table with a plan. I hold similar conversations with my family. If I know I have a big case I’m working on, I let my husband know that I may need to work on it at home. I also let my children know what to expect when I have to work on something at home.
They are getting to the age where they understand the value of money and the role having a job plays in earning money. I’ve noticed that when I have these conversations early on, my children automatically go to Dad first when they need something, and they tend to occupy themselves in their rooms.
During COVID, they really saw a glimpse into the world of a paralegal. Even though they were never quiet when I was on the phone with an insurance adjuster, I think eventually they did start to respect it in their own ways. I found it very rewarding to explain to my children the role of a paralegal in the legal system.
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Have Faith
When you’re a mom and a paralegal, there are countless long nights and even earlier mornings getting everyone ready for the day. These are the days that feel like they’ll never end but somehow, we get through them.
We’re not superheroes, we don’t have magical powers, but we do have one thing and that’s our faith. I’m talking about the kind of faith you hold on to at 2 am when you wake up from a dead sleep wondering if you blew a statute or not. Or the kind of faith you have when you’re questioning whether or not working and being a mom is the right thing to do.
I have faith in myself, my capabilities, and my qualities as a person and that’s what guides me through this chaotic life. My faith allows me to ask for help when I need it and in return help others. I surround myself with people who have faith in me, who lift me up and have my back, and I distance myself from those who don’t.
Faith in myself has steered me back on track when I’ve strayed off course. I remember a few days after I started my new position the attorney asked me to file a certificate of revival for an LLC he represents. I had no idea how to form an LLC, let alone revive one.
My experience was in personal injury. No worries, I had faith in myself that I could figure it out, and I did. My faith shows up at home and in the office, and holding onto it has helped me balance these two roles.
Conclusion
While there’s still no handbook for how to do it all, there is thankfully the internet where other moms and paralegals share advice and support each other. Being a mom and a paralegal is not by any means an easy task, but many of the best qualities that make a great paralegal are exactly the same ones that make a great mom.
Both roles require us to be caring and emphatic, organized and on time, and to be able to quickly retrieve information. It’s a delicate, messy balance when it comes to being a mom and a paralegal, but I hope you have found some inspiration here.
Meet the Author
Christina West is a paralegal at Parkowski, Guerke & Swayze, P.A. After practicing in personal injury for six years, she decided to expand her knowledge of the law and transitioned into a real estate paralegal role. After a year of learning all things real estate, her journey led her to her current firm where she handles estate planning and business corporation matters. She is a Delaware native and graduated from the University of Delaware with a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. She continued her education at Delaware Technical Community College earning her Paralegal Certificate in 2017. She lives at the beach with her family, and enjoys reading, movies, and being outdoors.
