Courts

Iowa Lawyer's 'Rhetorical Hyperbole' Could Land Him 60 Day Suspension

Imagine being unemployed over a "That's what she said" joke...among other things.

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Bunsinessman in dunce cap sits on a stool in cornerOne of the perks of working from home is that when one of your co-workers gets to popping off at the mouth on Zoom, you can mute them. Alas, as we return to “normal” and workplaces inch toward the 5 day a week in-person schedule to salvage their real estate investments, the opportunities to encounter colleagues you can’t mute that just don’t know when to shut up increases. And this isn’t just a Biglaw office problem either. You’d think people frequenting courtrooms and actively interacting with judges would mind their P’s and Bluebook Rules when it comes to good behavior. Unfortunately, Reuben Neffs make it in front of your honor. From Legal Profession Blog:

The Ottumwa (Iowa) Courier reports on a discipline matter scheduled for oral argument before the Iowa Supreme Court on October 11.

Wapello County Attorney Reuben Neff is pushing back against claims of a hostile work environment within his office that led an Iowa disciplinary review board to recommend his law license be suspended.

In documents filed with the Iowa Supreme Court, which will rule on his appeal, Neff said the Iowa Attorney Discipline Commission was wrong to reprimand him for sexual harassment.

Many of the statements have been acknowledged by Neff as having been said. He has argued the statements in question do not arise to the level of requiring disciplinary action, asserting either free speech rights or instances where additional context made Neff’s original meaning more clear…In briefs filed by Neff’s attorney Matthew Sease, the prosecutor argues the commission made no attempt “in differentiating sexual harassment from general office vulgarity.”

If we were on The Office, this would be the part of the program where Jim stares deadpan into to camera to alert us that, even with the additional context, these things wouldn’t fly. The commission is pushing for a 60 day suspension over Neff’s exercises in “free speech”. Here’s an example:

In Sept. 2019, Neff told employees after losing a sexual assault trial that he wished the defendant would be “raped by antelopes and mauled by lions at the same time.”

This is the sort of graphic imagery better suited for children in middle school than a court room. No, seriously — I still don’t understand how that Dolores Umbridge Centaur abduction made it in to Harry Potter.

Neff’s “general office vulgarity” continues:

While prosecuting a defendant, Neff commented that the individuals anus would be “this big” while indicating a circular shape by the time the defendant left prison, an apparent reference to being raped in prison.

Neff would occasionally refer to judges as “bitches” following an unfavorable ruling.

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First rule of adapting to your audience, try not to refer to them as bitches unless you are a master at redirecting heckling. Second rule, and this is especially true if you are likely to end up before that judge again, refer to rule 1.

And, what would workplace harassment be without a “That’s what she sad” joke:

Sometime in early 2020, Respondent came to the office late due to taking time to snow blow his driveway. Upon entering the office Respondent explained that he spent time snow blowing five inches, though he did not believe his wife minded. After seeing a staff member smirk at this comment, Respondent did state “that’s what she said.” This was a reference to the TV show “The Office” and was a quote Ms. Yenna and Carly Schoemaker used frequently in the office.

In a stunning attempt at a defense, Neff is arguing that his comments weren’t made with sexual intent or meanings. I’m sorry, but unless that was a platonic prison rape joke up there, I’m not buying it. Enjoy the 60 days, bucko.

That’s What He Said [Law Professors]

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Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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