What In-House Counsel Really Want For The Holidays

Here are some ideas for you on what in-house counsel like, based on some very unscientific focus group/crowdsourcing.

Bag full of Christmas presentConfession: as outside counsel, I didn’t send holiday gifts to clients. As a senior associate, I was sensitive to the perception that I was trying to “usurp” or encroach upon partners’ client relationships and left the relationship-building with firm clients to said relationship partners. For my own clients, I used Lunar New Year as a time to send holiday cards to differentiate myself, and I tended to send little gifts throughout the year as appropriate, instead of all at one time during a prescribed season.

But now as in-house counsel, I see the light — or at least the strategy — and how not sending something could be a missed opportunity. In my very unscientific surveying of in-house colleagues, the absence of something during the holidays could be misinterpreted as the lack of care for the relationship, especially if there was substantial spend that year. Of course, this is subjective, and as I note below, there may be very good reasons not to send anything.

I do need to note, however, that many companies may have policies about what gifts they can accept from a business partner. The policies may range from “cannot accept anything” to “only below a specific value” to “please only send something the entire department can enjoy.” If you are in-house counsel reading this, go ahead and take a moment to check if you have a policy and whether you need to disclose the gift to your ethics and compliance team. If you are outside counsel, you may want to make a note to check in with your clients about what their policy is.

My view on gifts from both my perspective as former firm lawyer and now in-house counsel is this: no one is going to give you business just because you bought them something. Or at least, they shouldn’t. And the more extravagant the gift, the more scrutiny your relationship will likely get. Look at the “why” behind the gift — it’s probably something along the line of “this is a little something to let you know that I am thinking of you, client, during the holiday and value our relationship.” Knowing your audience is key — and my disclaimer is that this is very subjective.

With that in mind, here are some ideas for you on what in-house counsel like, based on my very unscientific focus group/crowdsourcing:

    • Personalization — something that came up again and again as memorable was when the gift was personalized, whether to the client or the lawyer. For example, maybe you know that the client is obsessed with their dog, so you send a unique dog toy, or the client really loves fiction, so you send a thoughtful book. One friend received a customized bat, another a personalized hard hat. I think this comes from the fundamental need of every human being to feel seen (and not like a number or checkbook). One person liked receiving a bottle of liquor with their outside counsel’s faces on it, olive oil from their Italian counsel, maple syrup from their Canadian counsel.
    • Practical — Some really liked unique practical gifts (usually gadgets) that they could use — such as a phone stand that also charges or an Apple airtag (although you may want to determine whether your client is an Android user) or a bottle of wine (but find out whether they drink). The group was less enthusiastic about coffee mugs, water bottles, and generic marketing swag that is usually given away at a conference.
    • Sharable — For some who lead a team, they felt better when the gifts, such as snacks, sweets, or an experience, could be shared with their team. Mini-cupcakes from Baked by Melissa was an honorable mention.
    • Experiences — This will definitely vary by client, their culture, and where they fall on the extroversion scale, but some appreciated an experience — like tickets to a sporting event or a nice dinner, where there is opportunity for team-building between in-house counsel and outside counsel. There were definite votes for holiday events like pictures with Santa and going to the movies where family could come too.

I share all this to say that while the annual premade gift basket — you know, the one with crackers, sausage, cheese, and the occasional random breadsticks or tea — is something, if you’re going to make the effort to send a gift, you might as well make it a little bit more memorable. The difference in reaction between an “Oh, that’s nice, thanks” to a “Wow! That is so funny or thoughtful or I could definitely use this” might be worth it.

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Meyling Mey Ly OrtizMeyling “Mey” Ly Ortiz is in-house at Toyota Motor North America. Her passions include mentoring, championing belonging, and a personal blog: TheMeybe.com. At home, you can find her doing her best to be a “fun” mom to a toddler and preschooler and chasing her best self on her Peloton. You can follow her on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/meybe/). And you knew this was coming: her opinions are hers alone.

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