Technology

For Those Of You Who Thought We Had Another Week Before Twitter Under Elon Got Really Bad, Read This

You know things are bad when Tumblr decided to let boobs back on.

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on
TIME Person of the Year Elon Musk

(Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for TIME)

Surprising no one, the proverbial shit is hitting the proverbial fan because the proverbial idiot sold out Twitter’s validation process to trolls for $8. At first, it seems like the check exploitation was only affecting emerald mine inheritors who somehow finessed the public into thinking that they were self-made men. Times changed rapidly. Soon after, The Great Twitter Dupening™ moved on to the next phase of its targets: Lawyers.

As you can see, all manner of JDs are being impacted by this Dupening — lawyers from T14s, lawyers from the schools people don’t care about as much, and lawyers who have to live with the unending shame of doing shout-outs for cash on Cameo because they put all of their eggs in a basket with an Orange Man who tried to overthrow American democracy.

This is the part where I’d say “I hate to say that this is what happens when you let a billionaire buy a mass communication platform as a vanity project and immediately kill its verification system,” but I wouldn’t knowingly lie to my readers. I have been saying that this would be a bad idea for months — I knew Twitter would head to the shitter in the hands of Elon ever since I saw his Elden Ring build. This checkmark business is just the start of it. No man who runs two medium shields should be trusted with the protections provided by the Business Judgment Rule.

Who could have imagined that a man who inherited a fortune and bought the bird app as a vanity project would be its ruin!

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From the letter:

Elon has shown that his only priority with Twitter users is how to monetize them. I do not believe he cares about the human rights activists, the dissidents, our users in un-monetizable regions, and all the other users who have made Twitter the global town square you have all spent so long building, and we all love.

Whaaaa?! Do you mean the guy who said that he was buying Twitter for the sole purpose of helping humanity had an ulterior motive of milking them for profit this whole time? If only there were signs!

If and when Musk’s tweeting ends up violating FTC policies, I will be sure to keep you lot updated on the matter. Same place, same time in say, two weeks?

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Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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