Small Law Firms

Just Another Dais? Awards And Snubs Matter For The Oscars And For Lawyers, Too 

Seeing authentic people being rewarded is important.

By CLAIRE E. PARSONS  
on

459989Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Claire E. Parsons back to our pages. Click here if you’d like to donate to MothersEsquire.

This past December, I prepared to suffer through my local bar association’s annual holiday dinner. Most of the time, I’m a strong advocate for engaging with professional associations, including my state and local bar. But this year I was not feeling it. I just wasn’t into trading my Friday night PJs for an uncomfortable dress and awkward conversation with lawyers I see only once every few years.

All that apathy transformed in the blink of an eye when I learned who was being honored at this year’s dinner. The Distinguished Lawyer for 2023 was Margo L. Grubbs, my mom’s best friend from law school, or as I call her in shorthand, my “unofficial auntie.” Like my mom, she had practiced family law, among other things, for decades. Despite handling high-profile and often combative cases and never hiding who she was or what she thought, Margo has a way of making and staying friends with a wide array of people.

On top of this, she also has a distinction that generally went unacknowledged in the local bar. At least to my knowledge, Margo was one of the first openly gay lawyers in our very conservative part of the world. When she graduated from law school with my mom, even women were an oddity to the bar. In the early 1980s, the first female judge had not yet made it to the bench and only a cluster of women practiced law in Northern Kentucky.

Given this backstory, my attitude about attending the dinner suddenly and drastically changed. I didn’t just want to go. I knew I had to be there. My auntie didn’t need any awards. For decades she has gone right along being herself, representing her clients, and doing good work because that’s why she went to law school. For years, she has done this despite personal attacks, sexism, and in some instances harassment and discrimination.

I suspect Margo did all of this because she knew a secret most other people take a lifetime to learn: living an authentic life, despite the hardships, is rewarding in and of itself. Even so, it’s important to see authentic people rewarded too. Our profession, too often, makes it exceedingly hard to be yourself. Too often, the people who get the awards all look alike, don’t say much, don’t rock the boat, and don’t stand out.

When people willing to be different get rewarded, it tilts the scales ever so slightly back in favor of humanity. It reminds us that maybe people aren’t as closed-minded as they once were. It reminds us that sometimes risks are worth taking. Maybe we can “get away” with being who we are, like the time my auntie wore a red dress to her swearing in at the Supreme Court. My sometimes-stodgy dad (also a lawyer) was aghast, but none of the justices seemed to care, and you couldn’t miss her in the group photos.

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As someone who has always struggled with belonging, including in my law practice, I can’t tell you what it meant to watch my auntie speak her truth and get a standing ovation from my local bar. Perhaps you have been hearing all the angst about the “Barbie” movie getting snubbed at the Oscars or the outrage preceding that about the noticeable lack of diversity in awards programs and the entertainment industry in general.

In truth, Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie are going to be fine. They are going to make many more movies, and I have faith they’ll get their well-deserved awards someday. The outrage isn’t really about the fate of these individuals. Instead, the frustration is a reflection on the symbolic meaning of awards.

Awards don’t just identify winners. They identify those a society, group, or organization deems worthy of recognition, worthy of being considered excellent, and worthy of commendation. Of course, these determinations are highly subjective and political, but that’s my point. It’s great to see barriers seem to come down in terms of recognition, but it’s painful, frustrating, and demoralizing to see when some persist.

In the age of social media, when everyone you know is “humbled and honored” to tout some designation or announce their status as a SuperLawyer, it’s easy to get cynical about awards. The meaning of awards is, of course, varied and highly contextual. Despite all this, I can’t say they are meaningless. Awards can impart practical value and reputational enhancement. Beyond this, they can have significant symbolic value in the larger community.

If you sit on an awards committee for your state and local bar, I commend and thank you for your service, but I have a request too. Please take your job seriously. Check yourself often and watch out for group think. Speak up when it looks like something or someone is being overlooked. Your choice might matter more than you know to the individuals being considered and all the other people who are watching.

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Claire E. ParsonsClaire E. Parsons is an employment, litigation, and local government attorney at Bricker Graydon LLP in Cincinnati, Ohio. She’s also a certified mindfulness and compassion teacher, the founder of the Brilliant Legal Mind blog, and the author of two books, How to Be a Badass Lawyer and Mommy Needs a Minute. To learn more about mindfulness, compassion, mental health, and writing, follow the blog or connect with Claire on LinkedIn.

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