Courts

The First Rule Of Robbing An A-List Celebrity Like Lady Gaga: Know Your Contract Law!

Know who else has a mean poker face? Lady Gaga's lawyers.

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‘Yeah, I’m not paying you back.’ Lady Gaga (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

Looking for a way to procrastinate while Themis is down that still feels like studying? Who better to relearn the doctrine of unclean hands from than Lady Gaga? As you would expect of a person who dazzled onlookers with a meat dress, Lady Gaga loves animals. So much so that when she discovered her two French bulldogs went missing, she offered enough money to get two seats on an OceanGate submarine to get them back. Thankfully, they’ve been returned to her — and she doesn’t have to pay the $500K reward fee to boot. From ABA Journal:

Judge Hollie J. Fujie of Los Angeles Superior Court ruled against the woman seeking the reward, Jennifer McBride, in a July 10 opinion. Fujie cited the unclean hands doctrine.
…
Lady Gaga’s dog walker, Ryan Fischer, was shot and wounded when the two dogs were stolen in February 2021. McBride was arrested when she turned in the dogs at a police station.

McBride later pleaded no contest to knowingly receiving stolen property and was sentenced to probation. Four others were also arrested in connection with the crime, including an alleged shooter who later pleaded no contest to attempted murder.

Repeat after me: Don’t accept things you knew were stolen and expect to get the ticket price back! Have McBride and company never seen Pawn Stars?

This outcome makes sense — a court that blessed the “no questions asked” part of Gaga’s original promise without factoring in the theft part would practically be green lighting extortion. And as cool as that would be to see in the next Gaga video, it would be a horrible precedent to set in real life. If you’re ever trying to process a contract dispute, it wouldn’t hurt to check and see if everyone involved is a good faith actor.

Thanks for the lesson, Lady Gaga!

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Unclean Hands Doctrine Means Lady Gaga Won’t Have To Pay Promised $500K Reward For Dogs [ABA Journal]

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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