Government

MI Father Sues School For Violating Daughter's Right To Hork Droplets On Classmates

I hope you know this will go down on your permanent record.

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Michigan man James Stewart filed a federal lawsuit yesterday alleging that the local school district violated his daughter’s civil rights by making her wear a mask in accordance with state health department regulations.

“If allowed to stand, Defendants’ Orders and Emergency Directives will not only continue to violate Plaintiffs’ rights under the United States’ Constitution, but Defendants will continue to inflict massive emotional distress on students and parents across Manchester Schools,” the suit alleges.

Why, no, Mr. Stewart and his personal injury lawyers did not include any state officials as defendants in this suit, even though the district had no choice but to implement the policy. They did, however, spend several paragraphs decrying Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s radical plan to “reorder social life” under “emergency” orders.

But what they may lack in appropriate parties they make up for with histrionics.

However, these policies, as well-intentioned as they may be, have had an unlawful and disparate effect on some people, their health, mental wellbeing, and their civil rights to the point where life liberty and the pursuit of happiness have been ripped away from law-abiding citizens and their children.

They also insist that the “ineffectiveness of masks” is “well-known” (nope) and allude without linking to a German study that supposedly documented various harms to children from mask wearing (also nope).

The complaint alleges that Plaintiff’s daughter was part of a group of kids who refused to follow the school’s mask mandate and were corralled in the library where an administrator told them he would “run there [sic] names through a computer, and once he does that, there [sic] names are in the computer forever.”

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Cue the Violent Femmes.

The students were further “traumatized” by being called “anti-maskers” and “are being controlled by fear of consequences for the slightest noncompliance.” Unlike every other day of high school for every kid in America.

The constitutional claims could be generously described as a hot mess.

The student’s civil rights were violated by subjecting her to “health risks that are not offset by any scientifically provable benefit” and/or subjecting her to “an overall possible simultaneous drop in oxygen saturation of the blood and increase in carbon, dioxide [sic] which contributes to an increased noradrenergic stress response, with heart rate increase and stress rate increase, and, in some cases, a significant blood pressure increase.”

Her Due Process rights were violated because the school implemented the mask mandate — i.e. they changed the dress code — without “offering an opportunity for public discussion.”

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Threatening the kids with detention and suspension for failing to to obey school rules is intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Being forced to spend the day in the library with the rest of the kids whose parents are using them to make a point violates the Equal Protection Clause.

In short, they hurt her bad, they do it all the time. And so the girl’s father is demanding injunctive relief, as well as compensatory and exemplary damages in the amount of three for his heartache, four for his headache, and ten for everything everything everything.

Okay, not really. But he did pull US District Judge Linda V. Parker, who recently sanctioned the Kraken lawyers for bringing a totally frivolous lawsuit. And that is funnier than any joke we could ever make.

Stewart v. Manchester Community Schools [Docket via Court Listener]

Elizabeth Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.

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